Things My Husband Said

This morning, in bed. 7am.

Me: Why don't you get up and do yoga with me?

Him: No thanks.... I never get to sleep in and I'm all comfyyyyy.

Me: Oh c'mon it'll be fun! I'll teach you what I learned this weekend.

Him: mmmm. Can we do it naked?

Me: Um, no.

Him: But, just think, it'll be liberating and freeing!

Me: Not for me. I'll be self-conscious and cold.

Him: Oh.

Me: And, yoga's about liberating the soul, not so much the body.

Him: Well, I think your soul's boobs need liberated.

Me: You mean my boobs' souls?

Him: No, I mean your soul's boobs. I picture your soul as another you inside your body.

Me: Oh. Well. Still not happening.

Him: Oh.

Long pause.

Me: I'm going to start a new blog. It's going to be called Things My Husband Said. And, I'm going to document all these crazy things you say.

Him: No, don't do that.

Me: Don't worry, I'll be anonymous and people will read it and be like, Who is this couple?? And secretly it will be us.

Him: Well. Ok.

He did yoga with me this morning. Fully clothed. Both of us.