Things My Husband Said, II

This weekend, in Key Largo, lying in bed after my friend's wedding rehearsal dinner.

eric- Man, everywhere I go, I mean everywhere, someone says, 'Hey, you remind me of this guy I know.'

me- Huh? Did someone say that to you tonight?

him- Yeah. Like tonight, this one guy was like, hey, you remind me of this guy, So and So, from college. And then he yells to his other friend, 'Hey man! Doesn't he remind you of So and So, from college?' Then the other guy yells back, 'Yeah man, he does.' So I'm like, what about me reminds you of this guy? He says, 'I don't know. Just your man-urisms.'

me- You mean your mannerisms?

him- Yeah, my man-urisms. I mean, what are my man-urisms?

me- You know, just how you act reminds them of this other guy too.

him- Yeah, but all I can think is, am I a douche? I mean, do I remind them of an asshole? Because if this guy that I remind people of was cool, where the hell is he? I mean, wouldn't he be here right now? Sometimes I want to be like-- ok, where the hell is this guy?

me- (dying laughing) You know, that's a good point, I never thought of that.

him- yeah, well. I just want to know where the hell this other guy always is. Always somewhere else.

me- (losing my breath, choking laughing) yeah, you know, you're right.