new rules on the metro- metrules

- if you are on the metro during evening rush hour, you are not allowed to talk about your vacation in dc, how "fun" this train thing is, your day, your aching sneaker-clad feet in front of us-- the sweaty, tired, computer-glazed, flourescent-fried, worked-all-day, live-here commuters.

-if you have children and you are on the metro at rush hour, and those children are under, say, 12, you must squish them together into one seat, thus freeing up a seat for the rest of us who are fighting for fist space on the hang-on bar, while simultaneously balancing on our feet, watching our purses and trying to keep our noses out of that guy's armpit.

-when the announcement says move to the center of the car to allow customers to board, move to the center of the car to allow customers to board. if you stand there and stare at me, i can't be held responsible if i knock you over with my big belly.

-if you are on the left of the escalator and people are standing instead of walking like they should be while on the left side, just deal with it. do us all a favor and don't start yelling out- Walk on the left! dude, that is so annoying and you're only getting the the platform approximately 7 seconds before everyone else. chill.

-if you are a teenage boy and you are sitting in the disabled/elderly seats, and a disabled/elderly person gets on the train and you do not stand up, you are the proud winner of a slap upside the head. your mom too.

*not a rule, but a note of interest--if you are wearing headphones and singing out loud on the metro, we can all hear you. yes, even though you cannot hear yourself... we can all hear you.