my friend jobeth left an awesome comment... that i seem under a trance, like everything here is so perfect. well, so far, it IS pretty cool. i am pretty happy.

but truth be told, i am trying to remain as positive as possible because there ARE a LOT of things that, well, blow.

there are a million hours of beautiful summer, time with my son, walks with the dog, and nice folks. but so far, time here also includes

-lots and lots of time alone. i don't know anyone. eric is gone A LOT. and i do mean A LOT. however much time you're thinking, multiply it by two. we keep finding out about more and more and more time he has to be away and i almost snapped in half last week at the news of more time without him here. i enjoy alone-time, but throw a toddler and dog into the mix and it's nice to have a hand.
-we have a dog, and he needs walks. we have a toddler, and he needs to not be left alone. so... do you see where this leaves me? picture me, with one hand on the stroller, one hand on the dog, and trying to wrestle open the doors of our building or corral our barking dog or calm adam who is crying for a snack... it hasn't always been easy.
-hanging with an almost two year old 100% of the time has its ups and downs. explaining why goldfish for every meal isn't ok or why coloring on the walls isn't allowed or that biting hurts is only cute for a few days. not to mention, adam wakes up here in maine, where the sun first rises in the US, at 6am sharp (sometimes earlier!). therefore, my day starts then... no peaceful coffee and checking email. immediately into diaper changing, making breakfast, entertaining and teaching. i'd have to get up at 5am to beat him and, since i haven't been able to get my self to bed before midnight yet, this just isn't realistic!
-portland is full of boutiques and restaurants and spas and yoga studios. few of which i have entered. my stroller won't fit through the door, i can't spend (see below, no job...), and toddlers aren't good shopping buddies.
-i don't have a job yet, which is how adults often meet other adults. also, a regular job (even with irregular hours) provides structure to your life. this is quite an adjustment, moreso than i expected.

so there you have it!

but i AM trying to stay as positive as possible. every transition has growing pains. these are mine. overall, ALL of this is better than driving three hours a day in dc traffic, being over stressed in an office with no windows, being over scheduled every rare free minute i had.

i keep reminding myself of something from the happiness project book that really stuck with me: the days are long but the years are short. there might be hours (or days) that i think about selling adam on ebay or letting otis run into traffic (JOKING about both, dss and aspca!) but... i know that i want to and will appreciate this time and feel happy, both NOW and later, when i look back on this period in our lives- happy that i was able to be with adam so much, to finally do some work that i love, to have a supportive husband who loves me, to live in a totally new place and explore all around, to learn more patience (thanks, otis), and to spend so much time outside. to have totally new experiences.