things that have made me feel like a poopsicle:
-less than an acceptable amount of sleep
-nursing challenges
-juggling
-a constant ohcrapwhatamiforgetting?! feeling
-beautiful sunshine out there, me in here
-clothes that are thisclose to fitting again, leaving me with nothing to wear - maternity = too big, old clothes = still just a little too tight.
-being lonely/missing eric

things i have done to remedy feeling like a poopsicle:
-i have let marin sleep on my chest a couple mornings in our bed.   baby girl sleeps so well from 9 till 2 or 4am and then it's just a frustrating sunrise of her crying (ok... maybe me too...) and neither of us sleeping.  while i don't want to break a bed-sharing habit later, she cuddles up right where my heart is beating, i lay still on my back, and we both snooze till about 8am.  i need my sleep, i have to clock in for adam every morning, so this works.  for now.
-nursing continues to be a challenge. i have promised myself to take it one day at a time.  i have given myself permission to give up when it becomes too much, since my sanity is pretty important. i have nothing else to say about that. 
-i have managed to get both baby and child to nap at the same time in the afternoon (please GOD have mercy on me and let this continue...!) and i juggle then, minus two babies.  still juggling, but easier.
-attributing forgetfulness to mommy brain.  letting this one go.
-sunshine - i am getting myself out, hard as it is.  i've wrapped baby onto myself and walked adam to the park, played in our yard, watered my garden, went shopping, got adam a haircut, went to the beach!  exhausted, yes.  but the summer in maine is shortlived, i know this now firsthand.  i refuse to miss it.  when we go out, i open the sunroof, turn up the music and sing out loud.  all this makes for happiness.
-wearing lots of yoga pants and stretchy tanks, summery dresses.  hoping that the last 5 or so lbs miraculously melts away.  if that miracle doesn't happen, i will commence some sort of formal, yet gentle, exercise ... soon.
-i have been with friends nearly every day.  it doesn't change loneliness in the nights or mornings, but it makes the time go faster and makes me feel crazy lucky to know the people i know, and so thankful for all the offers of help. i also last minute subbed a yoga class recently and it made me feel ALIVE, even tho i probably only slept 4 hours the night before.  alive.  and not lonely.  happy, uplifted, full and home.  lucky.