a handicapped mouse is somewhere in my house

Friends, we have a problem. A major problem.

We have mice in our house. Yes, plural. Mice. Or so I can only assume. I have not actually seen more than one, and thank God for that, because if and when I do I may just have the baby right then and there on the floor.

This all began a couple weeks ago. Allow me to take you back...

I was sitting in our living room one night, watching something mindless on TV and Eric was at work. And what should I see out of the corner of my eye, running along the floor from our dining room into our living room, right in front of where I was sitting?

You guessed it.

He ran behind the speaker, back out, behind, out. I could not BELIEVE his courage! I called everyone I could think of who might be awake. I called Eric. No answer. I called my mom. No answer. I called my brother (yes, he also lives in SC. So?), no answer. I called my best friend, no answer. Finally, FINALLY! My mom called me back. At 10:30PM.

What?, she said.

I explained to her what happened. At this point, the mouse had run back through the dining room toward the kitchen where I can only assume a posse of his friends waited, high-fiving him after his daring run. My mom, of course, didn't have much to contribute, since she also lives in SC. She did tell me that the mouse could certainly get in my bed if he wanted to (ACK!), but then also told me that he would not because all the food he wants is in our kitchen (PHEW!)

Of course, I can now never use our kitchen past 8PM ever, ever again, but whatever.

Then, while we're on the phone, he came back! He ran again, through the dining room, and behind the speaker, out, behind, out, behind. I yelled- I see you, Mouse! Frightened, he ran away back to the kitchen.

I barely slept that night, with a towel stuffed under my bedroom door and the hallway light left on.

I hate the thought of killing animals, and so does my husband. We love (he ESPECIALLY loves) animals. But know what I hate more than killing animals? Rodents in my house. So the next day Eric bought some poison and placed it strategically through our house, under our house and in the attic.

Mouse, I thought, you are going DOWN!

Then, over the course of about a week, we noticed that the poison kept being eaten. Mouse kept coming back. To put an end to it, we placed a trap. And the next day, the mouse was deceased.

But to be on the safe side, we left out the poison. And guess what? Yep, still being eaten. Still mouse turds around the poison.

Oh. God.

So, after waking up yesterday morning and the poison was ALL GONE, Eric did some investigating. (Folks, thank goodness for my husband who would definitely pick up a mouse and is not scared and can deal with the poison and poop while I am pregnant. Otherwise, I'd be getting lots of frequent-user points at the nearest hotel.) While at work, I received an email from Eric (who was home) that read: Heavy mouse activity under the kitchen sink. The little bastards are bringing the poison with them. Found pebbles of decon in their with their poop. He also sent me photos of all their little poops, which are so nasty I won't post them here.

With this latest development, we made the decision to put down more traps last night.

So last night, I went in the bedroom and shut the door while Eric placed the traps. I cannot even see this part of the process because it really freaks me out. And this morning, Eric got up at 5am to go to work. It is so nice, he gets up and checks the traps and deals with the mouse situation so I don't even have to wake up or see/hear anything.

He left for work. I finally slept. All night, I had tossed and turned and stressed about this mouse and his friends in my kitchen.

When I woke up this morning, I walked in the kitchen and saw the traps were gone. I assumed we caught some mice and Eric gave them a memorial service (AKA, tossed them in the green rolly bin outside) and that was that. I called him at work to get the scoop.

This is when I learned that one of the two traps was missing. Oh yes. That's right. Missing. He told me he looked high and low at 5am today. In this room and that room, under here and there. No trap. The mouse took it away with him!!!

Now this I cannot deal with.

If I walk out tonight and see a mouse trucking along with a trap stuck on his foot, I think I may faint. My mom suggested that if I do see this, I pick up the trap and fling the mouse- trap and all- out to the yard and a bird will deal with him. The thought of this alone makes my chest tight, and if I actually had to execute this action... I just can't imagine.

(My mom also suggested that I just "wap" the mouse when he initially ran out that night I called her. Also not possible. 8 mos pregnant and extremely fearful of rodents, chasing him around with a book or shoe... can you imagine? Uh, no, neither can I.)

So here we are. One missing mouse trap, and Eric removed all the others. Poison still on the floor waiting to be eaten, and me sitting in the living room knowing that I'll be ordering take-out all weekend.

I keep hearing noises from the kitchen. I am just waiting for a mouse to come walking out, look up at me, stick out his foot with the trap attached and say, Hey, can you give me a hand with this?