there aren't words

i've been procrastinating on making this post because i just don't have the words to best describe the way i feel and what has happened.


the short of it is that baby adam was born on september 13 at 9:08pm. the long of it is... that our life is so changed, so perfect, so wonderful, but these words seem ridiculously inept in describing how lucky and amazing our lives are and have been over the past week.



he is amazing, perfect, the sweetest baby i have ever met. he seems happy and fairly content. eric and i are learning as we go and doing the best we can, and so far, it seems to be working. i am proud of us, our little family.



my parents came for a week to help us and, boy o boy, did they help us. we were sad to see them leaving this morning. it has been so amazing to see our parents with adam, to see how much they love him.



i still cannot believe this baby is here. he is really here. REALLY here. we made him. he came from no where and, as i type this, is sitting in a chair, in my house, breathing, happy, sleeping. we made him. unbelievable. unreal that just over a week ago, he was in my belly. and as uncomfortable as i was at the end of the pregnancy, i have to admit that i miss him being inside there somewhat. though i have several more weeks home from work, i can't imagine how hard it will be to go back to work without him coming along, snug in tummy.



seeing eric with adam, his eagerness to show his love to this child, his comfort and immediate adoration, his love-- it's almost too much for me. i am just completely overcome with love for them both- a new love that i just can't put into words.



we are having fun, laughing at his faces and little farts. singing to him and giggling when he whizzes on us accidentally at changes. learning what his cries mean and when he's content and when he's uncomfortable. and often, stealing hugs in the hallway or at the kitchen sink to say- i love you and thank you, thank you, thank you.

--
my labor started on friday, september 12. my due date. we went to the doctor and after checking me, she said- i'll be surprised if you don't have this baby this weekend.

i had my first contraction walking out of the doctor's office.

eric and i went to lunch, not thinking much of the cramps, until they kept coming every thirty minutes... then every 15. my parents got in the car and started heading to dc. and i slept 0 hours that night. my family arrived around 4am and my contractions continued throughout the morning and day. i called the hospital and the midwife kept telling me- not yet, not yet. and when i couldn't stand it another minute (i think my actual words were that i absolutely could not do this any more, that i was done), we went to the hospital.

a few hours later, our son was laughed into the world. after i had the epidural, the nurses, eric, the midwife and i laughed and laughed and laughed during his delivery. so many unexpected, funny things happened (that i cannot write here...). and i am so glad that he was born surrounded by deep belly laughs and tears of joy.

he has the biggest, most curious blue eyes that study my face several times a day. his cheeks, round and his lips full. beautiful. beautiful.

--

you are the poem
i dreamed of writing
the masterpiece
i longed to paint.
you are the shinging star
i reached for in my ever
hopeful quest
for life fulfilled...
you are my child.
now with all things
i am blessed.
-author unknown