Dina Ain't the Only One

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know what's going on with Lindsay Lohan. The world blames her mother, Dina-- despite the fact that Lindsay's 21 years old and a fully aware adult-- and it got me thinking.

You see, everyone refers to her mother as an enabler. But, have they any idea how hard it is to not be an enabler? I am guessing no, they do not.

By enabler, I doubt Dina, as a mother, is handing Lindsay drugs. That's not an enabler; that, kids, is called a drug dealer. But, I do think she's enabling her by protecting her, by making untrue statements to the media, by down-playing Lindsay's problems, by sweeping it all under the rug. I don't disagree that she's enabling Lindsay's additions and problems.

However.

I want anyone reading this to think about how difficult it might be to expose someone you love? Think of someone You Love a LOT. Now, think that they are terribly sick and addicted. And, imagine that they REALLY want to get better but just don't know how/haven't found the right treatment/haven't had the strength yet. You see this person that You Love a LOT struggling every day, you see them sick. You hate them sometimes for hurting themselves and for hurting you. But still, you love them and you just know they want to get better.

Now, imagine going to the media and telling the entire universe every dirty, terrible, bad thing that this Person You love a LOT has ever done. Could you?

I doubt it.

We protect people we care about all the time. I have friends who've used hard drugs, lied, had DUI's, had abortions, and done many things they don't want the world to know about. Everyone has. We don't go about spouting this information to the world. We keep secrets, even within families, to protect the person who is addicted from embarrassment and exposure. It shocks me that the media expects Dina to expose her daughter to the world when most people don't even air their dirty laundry in their own families and circles of friends.

Now, by not sharing Lindsay's personal truths and by making protective statements (lies) about her condition and illness, Dina is making the situation worse when what she's trying to do is make it better. She is enabling Lindsey. She is.

But, how could you not instinctively feel the urge to protect your child from the scrutiny of the world? How could you expose your sick baby to vultures like Perez and E! to chew up and spit out?

You couldn't. I couldn't.

It takes a lot of strength to not enable someone by trying to protect them. You naturally want to protect someone you love-- protect them from themselves and protect them from embarrassment, protect yourself from embarrassment too. I'd argue that it's just as hard to not protect a loved-addict as it is for the addict to give up their vice. You'd have to be Super Strong.

And Dina Lohan, she just isn't that strong. But I get it-- I don't know if I could be either.