eric has been away awhile and that really sucks.  BUT - he sends me funny funny texts and photos and i'm able to laugh about things you can only laugh about with your partner, and in a way i feel like it makes us closer than the average couple.  maybe?  thing is, we HAVE to work at our relationship.  we HAVE to stay connected, to talk on the phone or email (or, ugh, text) about our whole lives sometimes.  to find something funny, take a picture of it, and send it with witty comments, knowing it will make the other laugh -  this is a way of connecting, of thinking of each other, of staying anchored.  i'm grateful for him and our shared humor.  don't get me wrong, it's much much better when he's here.  we get along the best the longer we're together.  but still, glad for him and our unspoken commitment to stay connected in the big ways and in the small (which are really big, even tho they seem small). 

it's been a warm winter here.  i know b/c 1- i am not too bothered by it (which could also be that i adjusted slightly?) and 2- i can see green grass.  i specifically remember the moment (april!?) when i saw grass again last year.  to still see grass, intermixed with the snow, yes, but still, is amazing and promising.  adam, marin and i walked to swimming at the Y today and i didn't wear a coat!  just a sweater!  there were puddles, a good sign.  i am hoping this means a warm spring.  the year eric and i visited here to househunt it was late april and high 70's.  then we moved here and last april was more like 50's.  such a tease!  a joke.  a sad sad joke.  hoping this means that this year will be like that househunting year - an early, warm, dry spring.

adam says the funniest things, but so many of them show me how observant he is and that makes me so happy inside.  that he is noticing and aware.  adamisms today were - mommy, look at all this lovely snow!  and later today, in bed, while were singing "i've been working on the railroad" he stopped me and said, mommy!  did you notice today when we walked to swimming that we passed a RAILROAD!?"  at dinner, i gave him milk and in the most grateful voice he said - mommy, i love you.  just then, i swear to god, i was thinking to myself that if i was ever in an interview for a server job i'd be able to discuss all the experience i have serving my KID all damn day, while maintaining my patience... and he just blew it up and made me melt and smile.  i really love that kid.

marin swam with us for the first time.  she loved it and was a happy fishy the whole time.  she kicked her legs and chewed swimmy toys.  she gabbed ALL day, stringing together all the sounds she makes to something that sounded like a weird language - ahgadanaga!  dadadagagana!  b!  so funny.  she's eating toast and puffs and smooshed bananas and ... her sitter took a video of her the other day thisclose to crawling, apparently.  tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fast.  i tell ya.  i worry about the need to babyproof with this one.  adam never touched a thing in our house that wasn't a kid's toy.  but already, marin turns her nose up at a rattle and a ball, but would gladly chew and inspect my wallet, a paper towel, a water bottle, my phone, the tv remote, a shoe...